What Do I Like Better Than My Favorite Cholesterol Burger?

Sitting at the restaurant recently, while my family and I were enjoying the fellowship of an older preacher and his wife, I was also enjoying the fellowship of a nice, greasy burger.  

This particular restaurant makes great heart-attack burgers, rich in fat and cholesterol – a favorite of cardiologists everywhere, and one of my favorites, as well.

Having been a preacher for forty years, Rich knew how to get even the most stoic of our reserved children to giggle.  He leaned forward and asked my ten-year-old, "Did you hear about the snake who had eye trouble?"

Her eyes brightened and she wiggled in her seat, eager to hear his story.  Even though the restaurant was raucous, all my children began listening intently.

“He went to the eye doctor and got a pair of glasses; but a few days later, his friend found him crying his heart out. 

‘What’s the matter?’ his friend asked. 

‘I got new glasses!’ wailed the snake.

‘But you look great in your new glasses!  What are you crying for?’

‘I just found out that for two years I’ve been married to a garden hose!’”

All of us howled with laughter, and the kids set about to intervals of giggling and whispering amongst themselves. 

Though the meal was punctuated with laughter and a general giddiness, there were many serious moments.  It was during one of those lulls in the guffaws that I broached my favorite subject: passing on values to the next generation.

When Rich and Jean got married in the early ‘70’s, they would have never guessed that thirty years later, they would enjoy the rich heritage of having four children who love and serve the Lord.  Now adults with families of their own, their children are all actively involved in church – one teaches Sunday School, another plays piano for her church, while one of their sons preaches in the prisons and nursing homes, and another child is also raising his own children to live for God.  Rich and Jean are successful parents who have raised spiritually-minded children.

They are poster parents for godly parenting.  So I asked them, “In your opinion, what do you think has been the most important thing you have done to help you raise your children right?”

Rich drew a breath and replied thoughtfully, “I would say that for us, it was a matter of being REAL.  To be the same in church as we are at home is one of the most powerful tools in the parents’ toolbox.  I don’t mean just a rigid consistency, but a real, true love for God. 

“I would also say that the second thing is very closely related, and that’s JOY.  Love joyfully.  Be happy.  If God is going to meet your needs, just trust Him and be joyful.  Think of all the good things He has done!   As Christians, we shouldn’t get the ‘mullygrubs’.  It’s not a drudgery to serve God, it’s a Joy!”

Jean’s head quietly bobbed in agreement as her husband spoke.  Rich continued, “Also, I know I disciplined attitude quicker than action.  In other words, if they still did what I told them to do but had a bad attitude, I still disciplined them.  Their attitude was way more important to me than just the outward actions.”

Though many people never get the opportunity to talk to successful parents, to ask them some important questions, I am thankful I’ve had that opportunity.  And, much as I love a good ol’ heart-stopping grease burger, I much more enjoy gleaning from the wisdom of others and their many years’ experience.

And his final word of wisdom?  “When we homeschooled our kids, we would not let them graduate until they could count from one to a hundred forwards and backwards in less than ten minutes!”

And this set the kids back to giggling again.    

Oh, Be Careful, Mom and Dad!

Remember that children’s song, “Oh, Be Careful, Little Eyes, What You See?”  It’s a lesson even many parents need to learn when it comes to their children.

While doing research for my book, I discovered a page that was very surprising.  Apparently children are being exposed to pornography through some of the most insidious means I’ve ever heard of. 

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Familymatters.tv says,

 Kids looking for hearts and flowers for their MySpace pages are being subjected without warning to images of porn, drugs, and alcohol. Even more disturbing, many of these explicit images are viewed along side of popular cartoon characters and cute pictures of little animals.

The article goes on to state that:

During a routine survey of web traffic trends, FamilyMatters.tv discovered that one of the most popular web searches was looking for backgrounds, layouts, and graphics to decorate MySpace pages. We entered “myspace backgrounds” in Google and were shocked to find that each of the top 10 sites found by the Google search contained or linked to explicit content.

 Go to http://www.familymatters.tv/level_4/safety/warningtoparents.htm for the full article.  I thought it was excellent.  I’m not against all internet use for children, but we parents need to know what dangers await our children.

I also found a very disturbing thread posted on a horse grooming supplies page.  The question was posed, “Are you a sheltered child?” (The thread is under the section titled, ‘For kids only, on Horse Forums, discuss horses and other topics’  Hmmm…)

Some young people wrote that they are not sheltered at all, while other wrote that they felt sheltered but are trying to sneak around the fences behind their parents’ backs.  The entire atmosphere of the thread is one of irritation, mockery of attempted parental guidance, and smug laughter.  (This is one response word-for-word.)

hahaha. I am extremelly(sp.) sheltered...at least that's what they think. I can watch R rated movie, watch tv shows that(in their opinion) aren't approriate and so on and so on. The thing is...I don't let them know how bad the stuff actually is. I'm not allowed to cuss...sure. I usually don't because I don't want to but I do sometimes, they just don't know. It took me forever and all these safety precations and safety talks until mom let me have a myspace page (lol. I already had one). They are really bad about horses (mainly mom) but they let me ride anyways. I'm almost 17 now but when I was younger things were even worse. http://www.horsegroomingsupplies.com/horse-forums/are-you-a-sheltered-child-80853.html

Now, I must ask, Why is there such a question as, “Are you a sheltered child?” on a horse grooming website??  Questioning authority is expected, to a degree, but to encourage questioning among those who’ve never thought of it is certainly not wise.  The innocuous placement of such a question also shows the dangerous nature of the internet, which has many avenues for young people to stumble upon faith-eroding material.

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The many, many interviews I did on second generation Christians who are living for God prove that they were sheltered, and are thankful for it.  In fact, they have embraced the lifestyle of “keeping the world out” and are sheltering their own children.

Arianna, one of my very sheltered respondents who is now teaching in a Christian school, put it this way:

One of the things I feel very strongly about is the importance of sheltering children from harmful influences.  I simply don’t think many people realize how vital it is to protect young people from the manipulation of the Devil. 

(This is an excerpt from my upcoming book.)

Sheltering children is one of the main modes for encouraging the next generation to take up the torch of the Gospel and run with it.  A parent who, either by neglect or on purpose, does not shelter their child sabotages their child's future…unless God intervenes.

Oh, be careful, Mom and Dad, with your kids!

The Little Girl Who Shot At Her Sister...

...and what eventually happened to her...

It is very easy to take greatness for granted if you've had a harrowing morning getting the family ready for church.  By the time I arrived at Sunday school that morning and flopped into my seat, I thought greatness was just making sure my son had both shoes on…and that they both matched!

I was surprised to find that there was a missionary at church that day.  When she was introduced to the class, she glanced easily about the room and seemed to take us all in.

A young lady standing up in front of the adult Sunday school class in a fundamental Baptist church is very unusual, but she seemed to take it all in stride.  Tracy Marks, single missionary to Africa, was telling her story.

“I was raised in a hunter’s home,” she began.  I sensed even the male varieties amongst us were eager to hear more.  “My Dad was a big hunter, and there were lots of weapons in our house.  He took the time to teach each of us the importance of respecting the weapons, so that by the time we were four years old, we were allowed to have our own bow and arrow, as long as we didn’t shoot each other!”  A ripple of laughter gently waved through the listeners.

“One day when I was four, I got angry with my sister, and I shot the arrow at her!  I didn’t hit her, but I sure did get in trouble.  So what happens when you do something wrong in a Christian home?  I got a spanking! 

“As I was lying in my bed, crying, suddenly everything my parents and Sunday School teacher had been trying to tell me all came together, and I realized I was a sinner.  So, on my bed, I stopped crying and prayed and asked the Lord to forgive me of my sins.”

Tracy smiled and continued, “So, parents and grandparents…you keep doing what you know is right!  You never know – someday it may lead to your children’s salvation!”

I glanced at my children sitting by me in church and wondered if one of them could be a future missionary.  Surely in the midst of tousled hair, madness and mayhem, there was the seed bed for greatness.  Why, if arrows can fly and still missionaries can come from it, then I know that God can use us!

40,000 Words and Counting!

The other day, I passed the 40,000 word mark on my book! That means either I’m terribly verbose, or it’s just loaded with good stuff! I prefer to think the latter, but I suspect I have some whittling to do before this hits the press.

For those of you who don’t know, I am working on a book about Second Generation Christians, interviewing those that are living for God to discover what their parents did right. This is the main reason why I’ve not been blogging much within the past six to eight months.

Sometimes, however, I find some nuggets that simply will not fit in the book. After all, it’s at least 40,000 words long already, and it’s not done yet. So, this blog is going to get some of the spillovers, the things that can’t fit, but are still really good.

Thank you for your patience, and please continue to pray that the Lord will give me wisdom. I feel that the information I’ve been finding is extremely vital for our day, and can help a LOT of young families who want to raise their children to serve the Lord.
 

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Age Has Its Advantages!

Ever feel old? I know I’m only forty--not-going-to-tell-you years old, but sometime I feel as if age is catching up with me. Actually, not sometimes…more often than not! Sometimes it's hard to believe that I actually have three adult children and two grandchildren! All of my family are the joy of my heart. 

Being older (notice I said oldER) means that I have many years to reflect on. The formative year of my family were highly influenced by many good books, and I thank God for them!

 

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When I began my family twenty-five years ago, one of the most influential books I ever read – even to this time – is What the Bible Says About Child Training, by J. Richard Fugate. (Of course, when I got a hold of it, it was the older version, and a new edition has since been published. Looking at it online, however, it appears as though the newer version does not have any additions to it.)

The book is full of foundational principles for young families, and also some good advice for parents with older children. The Scriptural principles laid out in this book are indisputable, and are Biblically sound. It was very helpful then, and it is just as helpful today.

One of the principles that has helped me over the years which is explained fully in the book is what I call the Crossover Principle. It is the time in a child’s life when the power of the parent is no longer that of control, but that of influence. When they are young, we need to control them, but as they get older, the need for our control lessens. They are more able to operate on their own. But as they get older, their need for developing a good relationship with us -- and thereby increasing our scope of our influence in their lives -- increases. This principle alone has spurred me to try to develop good relationships with my children. Now, as my children call me from their homes in other states, they seek my approval and advice. What a good feeling to know that they care!

So, I can say that age has its advantages! With many years of memories behind me, I see the importance of foundational truths when we are young. Then when we are grannies, we can enjoy the blessings! And oh, how wonderful those little blessings are!! :)

A Writer's Shocker

“Children, I hate to have to tell you this,” the old servant began, “but your parents are gone – they died in an awful fire earlier today. And there’s no need to go home. You have no home anymore either. I’m here to take you to your Uncle Olav,” he said sadly.

“Not Uncle Olav!” the children screamed. And with that, the young people were plunged into one disaster after another. All Uncle Olav wanted was their money, and not long after they went to live with their nice cousin Boris, he died in a car accident. Living with Aunt Sylvia became almost like home, until she committed suicide. Each time the kids had a good situation, it seemed that something awful happened.

Now, how would you like to read a story like that? How would you like your children to read a story like that?

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That is the story line of the very popular eight-book series “A Series of Unfortunate Events.” It is what people read nowadays. But I wonder…Why do all the parents in these stories die, anyway? And the ones that survive seem to act like ignorant morons, always getting in the way.

If someone came up to me and slapped me across the face, I don’t think I would have been more shocked than I was the other day. What I read in the current issue of a major writer’s magazine came as a complete surprise.

There is an article in the magazine about writing stories for children. In this article, they give tips and tricks to develop vivid characters, an unforgettable plot, and a riveting climax. It really has some good ideas. But in the article titled, “How to Avoid Parenting Your Characters,” I find several disturbing things. The first bold heading under the title is, “LOSE THE PARENTS TO ADVANCE THE PLOT.” Then it goes on to say,

The No. 1 parenting problem that characters face is adults, usually parents, who stop the fun and solve all of the problems instead of letting the characters get into trouble and then get back out again. The solution is obvious: Get mom and dad out of the way.”

And then a bit further, we read,

From the Boxcar Children to Harry Potter, there is a long tradition of killing off mom and dad to get the story underway….If burying mom and dad doesn’t work for your story, there are other ways to get them out of the way. Adults, both real and imagined, are wonderfully self-absorbed and don’t always notice what is going on under their own noses.”

In other words, keep mom and dad so busy with their own lives that the children are on their own. Does this remind anyone else of a Scripture? “A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

But wait! This gets better…or worse! The next bold heading is, "USE ADULT CHARACTERS AS OBSTACLES." The article continues:

If you simply cannot get the parents out of your story, then make good use of them… adults can be a great device to mix up the lives of young characters. [A juvenile fiction writer says,] “I do sometimes have older characters give misguided advice to younger characters,” she says. “That way rather than solving problems, the adults complicate them.”

How about the attitudes of the young people themselves?

“Allowing my characters to do a little bit of rebellious sneaking around helps me keep parents out of the way,” [the writer is quoted].

Folks, this is from the current issue of a major writer’s magazine. It is how we writers are taught to create compelling fiction for young people in our modern society.

I used to think that it just happened to be that children ran about by themselves all the time in juvenile fiction, but now I see that it’s a purposeful effort on the behalf of publishers (and writers) to literally get adults out of the way or use them as obstacles in the young people’s lives!

Here are just a few of the Scriptures that come to mind:

Ephesians 6:1-2a “Children, obey your parents, for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother…”

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 5:1 My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:

Proverbs 4:20 My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.

Does this bother anyone else, or am I the only one this raises a red flag with?! Think twice before you allow your child to bring home from the library some juvenile fiction that is written by an unsaved author. They might wish you would jump out the window someday! :/

The Paramedic

I’ve always wanted to do something to help people.

Sensing I lacked confidence as a young child, my older sister went to great - and quite comical, I might add - lengths to help bolster my self-assurance. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she planned a number of strange “accidents” so that I could rescue her from certain doom.

One time, we were riding our bikes through the neighborhood, when she slowed down, pulled closer to the curb, and then suddenly flung herself off her bike and into the grass! Rolling a few times, she yelled, “Oh! Lis! Help! Help!”

Instantly becoming the paramedic, I swung the bike around, raced to her side and quickly examined her for broken bones. Within a few minutes, I had my patient up and about, and carefully helped her back home, where I got her all comfortable on the couch. Her gratefulness was almost without bounds, and later, she rewarded me with one of the most precious awards I ever got: a foil-covered cardboard trophy! It gave me the confidence I
needed throughout the years ahead.

Throughout the years, the Lord has enabled me to meet many, many people. Lots of the folks I have met are very precious believers who have successfully trained their children to serve the Lord. These people are now grandparents, and today their children are training their own children in the way of the Lord.

Now, I’ve heard it said that the greatest proof of your parenting is not how your children turn out, but how your children are training their own children! In other words, we know we have passed on our godly values only inasmuch as our children have embraced them and are passing them on to the next generation.

My desire is to help young parents have concrete methods based on the evidence of the scriptures and proof of experience. The positive experiences of those that have successfully trained godly young people holds more weight than any opinion in the world. You may have your opinion; I’ll take the proven method.

I’ve always wanted to do something to help people. But instead of being a bike-riding paramedic, the Lord has given me many stories of godly parents to tell.

So, young parents, fear not! The older generation will tell their godly parenting secrets.

Stay tuned.

Coming Soon...

Stay tuned!!!

God is So Good!

Yes, it has been awhile. Before I get into all my excuses, I want to make an extremely important announcement: I’M GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER --- AGAIN!!!!

There you have it, Folks! Our beloved daughter and wonderful son-in-law are going to have their third little dumplin’ sometime next year, Lord willing! We found out on Thanksgiving Day! What a lot to be thankful for!! The Lord has been sooooo good to us!

Since getting back in the bus in November, I’ve been able to develop a good schedule for us here, wherever we happen to be. That’s something that is very hard to do, when your house moves every few days, but the Lord has helped me to do it. It’s been real good for all of us, especially the children.

We’ve been blessed to be able to use the BJU DVD curriculum for the younger children, which I (and they) enjoy immensely. The instruction is extremely thorough, and they are all very well done and interesting. However, it seems to take longer than I’m used to, to do the schoolwork each day. Hence, I have very little free time, especially since I’ve been doing a little work each day on my book.

Right now we are in Tampa, Florida, where my husband is seeing a Lyme Disease specialist. The doctor wants to put him on about six weeks of powerful intravenous and oral antibiotics to completely rid his body of the spirochetes and other co-infections. Of course, that changes our entire schedule – again (remember the bus accident??) – so my husband really wants to try to only go for two weeks. As the Lord leads you, it would be a blessing to me, and the whole family, if you could take some time to pray for him, and for us as we stay here to get his medical care.

Meanwhile, we now have an unplanned ministry to McDill AFB!! Isn’t God good?

Heading Home! Finally....

We are finally heading to our home, which is parked at a collision shop in Gaylord, Michigan. As of Friday last week, the bus is done and the shop got their check, so all we need to do now is show up and pick up our baby. It's going to be late when we get in tonight, maybe around 11:00pm or so, but I know everyone will want to go see it, even if it's cold, dark, and late! It's been almost two months since the accident, and we are going to be sooooo glad to be home again...even if home is only 320 square feet!

The Lord has kindly blessed us, and many people have put us up, or put up with us, as the case may be. We've also been blessed to be in several meetings and some missions conferences, several of which were unplanned - the folks knew we were around and asked us to come. All of these missions conferences have been a tremendous blessing, I love being with missionaries, and it seems that the Lord speaks to my heart more and more with each conference. For all the Lord Jesus has done for us, could it be considered a sacrifice to serve Him? No, not at all...

We have one more missions conference to go before we can head out to the military bases of the east coast. I have been somewhat chaffing at the thought of being stalled in the breadbasket of the nation, but the Lord has used it to help us in many ways. Still, I can't wait to get close to a base and be amongst the folks God has called us to reach.

Continue to pray for us for safety. When we pick up the bus tomorrow, we will still have a lot of glass to clean up, though we did what we could before we left. There will be other repairs to attend to as well, like the front curtain and rod. That will need replaced as soon as possible (nothing like living in a glass house... literally!!) And I feel fairly certain that after two months of sitting idle, something will need to be fixed! Just pray for us as we settle in.

A thought for today:

"The Lord has made everything beautiful in His time..." Each of us struggle with the voices from our past, those voices that tell us that we are stupid, or ugly, or wierd, or whatever. Sometimes a face comes with the voices, and sometimes those voices are alone, taunting us.

Always remember that those voices are sent by Satan to discourage you and make you ineffective for God. You see, if he can make you feel worthless, you will do nothing for God, and he knows it. He is lying to you, telling you, through those hurtful remarks, something that is not true! If we listen to his lies, we will be coming in line with his desires and wishes. As a born-again, blood-bought child of God, He sees only His Son, not our mistakes or shortfalls. He is "blinded by the Son," so to speak.

Praise be to the wonderful Creator, who loves us, made us beautiful through His Son, and helps us erase the lies Satan has emblazoned into our memories. God is so good!